Damn you Gluten!


Okay, so I’m one of those gluten-free-lactose-intolerant-soy-milk-please types that everyone loves to hate and schoolyard bullies spend nights dreaming about how to embarrass.

Yeah yeah, I know I would have died a pathetic whining ‘anzac-biscuits-can’t-eat-those’ death if I was ever in the trenches and I would be the first person to go in a zombie attack with both my horrific eye sight and penchant for eating 6 times a day, but goddamn it, gluten and I are worse enemies than Ke$ha and a goddamn bath. Seriously, that girl looks like she stinks of booze, cigarettes and probably cat pee.

Combined with my nigh on addiction to all things burgerish and/or on top of pizza and I must admit there have been many curled up on the floor in pain evenings after a Huxtaburger / Cafe Romantica binge.

But gluten free buns? Seriously, it’s like eating a dishes juice soaked kitchen sponge that falls apart in your hands at the best of times.

So, when hungover as hell I headed to ‘Brother Burger and the Marvellous Brew’ in Fitzroy, I must admit I was debating whether to throw in the towel and come to terms with gluten-induced pain, or eat another piece of sponge.

However, having ordered the ‘Hot Stuff’ (beef, bacon, cheese, pickles, mayo, chilli jam) with additional meat and cheese (because my body is a temple, obviously) and gluten-free burger option, you can imagine that when it arrived my reaction was the following as the burger bun turned out to be a culinary marvel of texture, non spongeness and actual seeds.

Greeted with the below beauty (or monstrosity if you aren’t hungover), I was both in love and lust at the same time.

Ranking insanely high on the delicious-meter and with thoroughly commendable meat to cheese and bacon to bacon fat ratios, both the burger and bun were off the charts.

‘Brother Burger and the Marvellous Brew’ is both easy to recommend and hard to go past and not only serves delicious burgers of both gluten and gluten-free varieties, but has a wide range of meals, shakes (with or without liquor), varieties of fried things (onion rings recommended) and most importantly a freaking sweet beer menu with which to wash down said fried things. All meat—tastic burgers are also filled with 100% Wagyu beef from South Australia, so you can feel (reasonably) healthy too.

Available in a wide variety of styles, all beers at the time of writing were draught, which allows for more cramming of burger/ beer at once than a bottle can provide.

Brother Burger and the Marvellous Brew– Side of 413 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy.