Poutine – The gift from the Gods
SHIRTLESS AND OILED RYAN GOSLING RIDING A MAGICAL UNICORN OVER A RAINBOW OF EMOTION WHILE PLAYING SONGS OF YOUR BEAUTY AND HOW HE RESPECTS YOUR MOTHER ON A LUTE WHILE CARRYING SACKS OF PUPPIES DRESSED IN CUTE AND IRONIC SWEATERS.
AND / OR
MIRANDA KERR. BACON. MIRANDA KERR. BACON. MIRANDA KERR EATING BACON. BACON. MIRANDA KERR WEARING A BIKINI OF BACON. DOUBLE BACON.
Now that I have your attention and have momentarily distracted you from internet pictures of cats hiding in boxes or news what the Big Brother cast are up to (spoiler alert, they all get voted off), here to discuss poutine.
While its hardly new to our shores and is something that you probably had once from Lord of the Fries (although it ended up being more disappointing what a mermaid would be in real life, as in weird as hell not Ariel the Little Mermaid), poutine is something that should be best enjoyed alone, while overcome with feelings of guilt and beer.
Poutine is a genius combination of deep fried chips, gravy and grated cheese all combined into one love-handle enhancing plate of guilt and barely repressed tears.
Although quite possibly the most unpleasant thing to try and eat on a date (if you care even remotely about not being seen as a savage covered in gravy and melted cheese), poutine is perfect for all other occasions, such as watching the game, in between beers, at sporting occasions where you want one team to beat another team and involving loud cheering, or ideally in its natural climate which is hungover as heck on a Sunday while still wearing your trackpants and wondering how you managed to spend all your money and why you were grinding all over trish / dennis from accounts.
Suggested locales for trying poutine:
The B.East – 80 Lygon Street, Brunswick East
Kodiak Club – 272 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy
p.s – in future this blog will be coming at you with more suggestions for new locales / trends / food to try and will try and get you in on the next new big thing before all others.
p.p.s – the next big thing is non-ironic ironic bumbags. Heard it here first people.